A man cannot touch, stare, kiss or have relations with a woman he is not married with.
On the days when the laws of impurity do not apply, what exactly can a man do with his wife?
Assuming extra precaution is taken to avoid wasting the seed of the man, is everything else allowed?
Answer
As with many issues, there is a variety of opinions on this topic, ranging from generally permissive to strictly limited.
The Gemara (Nedarim 20b), and consequently the Rambam and Rama (Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Issurei Biah 21:9; Rama, Even haEzer 25:2) explicitly permit just about anything, but recommend that one conduct himself with respect for the holiness of the act.
The Shulchan Aruch (OC 240, EH 25) expands on this idea of holiness, and regards cohabitation as something that should be done only because it is a mitzvah. As such, it and sources based on it (such as the Kitzur, 150), are far more strict, and prohibit various acts due to their apparent vulgar nature.
On the other hand, some rabbis are far more permissive. This includes Tosfos, who allow acts that even include "spilling of seed," as long as it's only done occasionally and with the right intentions. (Yevamot 34b, Sanhedrin 58b; Ri"d, Yevamot 12b).
Contemporary rabbis are also generally permissive, with reservations and limitations. (See R' Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe, Even Ha'Ezer 63). However, as with all such questions, for practical applications please consult your Rabbi or Yoetzet Halacha.
Example quotes from the aforementioned sources with translations:
Shulchan Aruch OC 240:1 ; EH 25:2
אם היה נשוי לא יהא רגיל ביותר עם אשתו אלא בעונה האמורה בתורה. ... ואף כשהוא מצוי אצלה לא יכוין להנאתו אלא כאדם שפורע חובו שהוא חייב בעונתה ולקיים מצות בוראו שיהיו לו בנים עוסקים בתורה ומקיימי מצות בישראל.
A married man should not have intercourse more often than prescribed in the Torah. ... His intentions should not be to satisfy his desires, but to fulfill the mitzvah to have children that will do good deeds...
Nedarim 20b
אבל אמרו חכמים אין הלכה כיוחנן בן דהבאי, אלא כל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה
Our Sages said: The halachah is not as R. Johanan b. Dahabai, but a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife [at intercourse] (Soncino Translation)
Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Issurei Biah 21:9 (Translation Source)
אשתו של אדם, מותרת היא לו; לפיכך כל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו, עושה--בועל בכל עת שירצה, ומנשק בכל אבר שירצה, ובא עליה בין כדרכה, בין שלא כדרכה, בין דרך אברים. ואף על פי כן, מידת חסידות שלא יקל אדם את ראשו לכך, ושיקדש עצמו בשעת תשמיש, כמו שביארנו בהלכות דעות; ולא יסור מדרך העולם ומנהגו, שאין דבר זה אלא כדי לפרות ולרבות.
A man's wife is permitted to him. Therefore a man may do whatever he desires with his wife. He may engage in relations whenever he desires, kiss any organ he desires, engage in usual or unusual intercourse or engage in physical intimacy without relations.
Nevertheless, it is pious conduct for a person not to act frivolously concerning such matters and to sanctify himself at the time of relations, as explained in Hilchot Deot. He should not depart from the ordinary pattern of the world. For this act was [given to us] solely for the sake of procreation.
Tosfos, Yevamot 34b
אמר ר"י דלא חשוב כמעשה ער ואונן אלא כשמתכוין להשחית זרע ורגיל לעשות כן תמיד אבל באקראי בעלמא ומתאוה לבא על אשתו שלא כדרכה שרי
It is permitted for one who to perform [unusual intercourse] with his wife on occasion, to satisfy his desires, for this is not like the act of Ar and Onan, who spilled their seed regularly with intent to destroy it
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