There are various harchakot (separations) that a husband and wife must observe when she is a niddah.
When I learned these halachot before I got married I learned that the husband and wife may not eat together when she is a niddah without setting some kind of object on the table to serve as a heker or reminder. I also learned that this rule only applies when the husband and wife are eating together privately but does not apply when other people are present. This book (written by someone I know and reviewed by R' Doniel Pransky, Rosh Kollel of the Atlanta Scholars Kollel [someone I trust]) confirms that exception.
My question is, why does this particular harchaka not apply in public? What is the difference between eating together without a reminder and all the other harchakot such as passing something from one spouse to the other (which we don't do even in public)?
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