Sunday 4 December 2016

chazzan prayer leader - How can we get people to stop talking (much, loudly) during minyan?


I know that lots of minyanim have the talking problem; has anybody solved it?


I daven with a weekday shacharit minyan that has a noise problem. A couple of people are the main sources of the problem (instigators). The problem, to be clear, is talking about inappropriate things during services loudly enough to disrupt others, including the sh'liach tzibbur. Both the regular congregants and the sha"tz, have tried talking privately and delicately with them and encountered denial and some hostility. There is no rabbi; everyone there is a layperson. I'd rather not leave this community.


Some have suggested that the sha"tz stop services when this happens and just wait, or even address these people directly at that point and ask them to stop. I'm concerned that this might cross the line into inappropriately embarrassing them, particularly if there are visitors to the minyan (as there sometimes are) who do not know the history. What are the halachic parameters of such an approach: is anything in that vein possible (and advised)? Are there other ways to address this problem, other than the sha"tz just raising the volume to overpower the talkers?



Answer



This is a report on what has happened since I asked this question.



One day a few weeks ago one of the "minyan elders" talked to the main talker and asked him to change his behavior. It did not go well, from what I heard (I wasn't there that day), and the talker stopped coming to the minyan. That's no good, everyone agreed, and various people tried to talk with him. Then a week or so ago there was a minyan meeting, the stated goal of which was not "how do we stop the talking?" but "what are we doing here and what do we value?". The meeting began with everybody answering the question "why do you come to minyan?" and then led into a discussion of values. (I was out of town; I learned all this this morning.)


People brought up several things that we could be doing better; for example, nobody realized that some people were having trouble hearing some of the shlichei tzibbur and they need to speak up or use a microphone (on weekdays). There is concern that we're relying on the same two or three leaders but others feel intimidated and don't want to take it on, so we need to encourage and mentor. There were concerns about better integrating the school children on days that they come so they feel part of it. And there was a discussion about talking, with the following being written into a document that's sort of a statement of principles:



We ask that no side conversations be held on the bimah or in the pews during the prayer service, especially near the service leader. If it is necessary to speak, we ask that you whisper and not speak aloud. Every effort should be made to daven with the service leader not faster, slower, or louder. The service leader runs the service and deserves the appropriate respect.



The talker who had left returned earlier this week, sitting alone in the back. It's too soon to say what the long-term effect will be.


I don't know the formal status of the document or whether it will become something people are asked to sign as in rachav's answer.




Five years later: Nobody talks about the document any more as far as I know (and it didn't become something people were asked to sign), but the noise level has stayed reasonable most of the time. When conversations do become disruptive, one of several members of the minyan now "shushes" the people involved. If that doesn't work, the sh'liach tzibur stops and waits, which has prompt results. The sha"tz usually does not say anything about the noise, just waits.


While the discussion raised awareness and the document recorded the results, it appears that a larger benefit of the whole process was to give everybody "permission" to do something about the problem when it arises. It arises less often than it did; we didn't manage to stop it, but it's more controlled now.



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