I've noticed that the Friday night shemoneh esrei (nusach Ashkenaz) uses the line "בה", shacharit and musaf use "בו", and mincha uses "בם" in the phrase "וינוחו _ ישראל מקדשי שמך..."
What is the reason for this variation?
Answer
Aruch HaShulchan 268:14 explains that Shabbos is called in the Torah both masculine and feminine.
כי קדש היא לכם מחלליה מות יומת is feminine.
זכור את יום השבת לקדשו is masculine.
In the Torah there is a feminine way of referring to evening (ליל) therefore we say "בה" then. Day (יום) is only masculine in the Torah therefore we say "בו". Mincha time which is close to the evening yet is still day we say "בם" which includes both.
Matan Shabbos has additional reasons.
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