This passage of the movie, Kotonoha No Niwa:
鳴る神の
少し響みてさし曇り
雨も降らぬか
きみを留めむ
Several sites translate as:
A faint clap of thunder,
clouded skies.
Perhaps rain will come.
If so, will you stay here with me?
And, the translation I see:
Thunder echoes weak.
Amid the cloudy (sky).
The rain will fall?
You'll remain here (?) (my certainty in that sentence is close to 0%).
I don't trust a lot in my translation, but I place less trust in texts found online. Could anyone tell me which one is more correct and why?
Or, if both are completely wrong, how I can properly translate this passage?
Answer
Let's modernize it first.
かみなりが 少し響いて 空に雲がさして曇り 雨でも降らないか… 君を留めよう.
I wonder if thunder echoes weak, cloud interferes with the sky and rain or something falls. (Then,) I'll keep you here.
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