When talking to native speakers, I find that I'm often corrected for picking the wrong prefix when using words from the ko-so-a-do series (as in これ、そちら、あそこ、どんな、etc). My confusion mainly involves ko-so-a (the do prefix being simpler since it indicates a question).
What I've been taught is to choose based on a concrete or abstract idea of proximity, which is simple enough for the following particular series:
- これ: thing close to in-group
- それ: thing close to out-group
- あれ: thing distant from both in and out-group
which also works nicely for the その、この、あの series. But I find the following difficult:
Quotation of oneself or another person:
彼女は{そう、こう、ああ}言いました。
Talking about location of oneself or another person:
Xは{ここ、そこ、あそこ}で旅行している間に、...
Emphasis of some property:
{こんな、そんな、あんな}に美味しい魚を食べたことがないって。
Those are maybe not the best/most natural example sentence, and the particular choice here is maybe not so relevant. Rather, I am interested in a more general description of how to make these types of choices in an abstract context where proximity is not well-defined.
Answer
The general rules for ko/so/a words in abstract situations are:
そ-words usually refer to what was said previously
こ-words are often used for matters of emotional importance to speaker
あ-words are used in personal statements to refer to remembered things
These are illustrated in the following examples:
港について船を降りた。そこで母が待っていた。
この曲は始めのメロディが好きだ。ここはなんど聞いても飽きない
子どものころ、近くの公園でよく遊んだ。あの公園はまだ残っているだろうか。
Note: The choice depends on the context (文脈), given in the examples above in the previous sentence. In your examples we cannot say which is the correct choice because you have not given the previous sentence.
Reference: JLPT 新完全マスターN３文法
Additional comment on other rules
I think the above rules are needed for more complicated reading. I have seen the other rules you mention in your comment used for conversations so perhaps these are best looked at in context of spoken Japanese. I find too many rules can be paralysing so my suggestion is to take a few “model examples” such as the following, and then try apply those rules:
A: あれ、持っているの？
B: あれ、あ、もっているC: 昨日、マークさんに会いました
D: あの人はずいぶんやせましたねE: 雨がよく降りますね。これは台風の影響ですよ
F: 風邪をひいて、頭が痛いんです
G: それはいけませんねH: 昨日、車でびわ湖へ行って来たよ
J: その湖に魚がいたかい？K: いつアメリカへ行ったんですか
M: あれは去年８月でした
Alternative rules [related general rules そ、こ、あ, given above]
(i) Distance can be physical or psychological.
(ii) So-words can be used for things just mentioned by one of the speakers. [そ]
(iii) Ko-words: The speaker feels closest to items described with ko-words [こ] and furthest from a-words [あ]
(iv) A-words can be used to refer to something someone said or did in the past but both speakers must have previous knowledge of it. [あ]
Application to above model conversations:
A&B: (iv)
C&D: (iv) - Both have previous knowledge of Mark
E: (iii) - E uses kore to refer to “this thing that I am talking about”
F&G: (ii)
H&J: (ii) – “J” does not have “previous knowledge” to recall because he was not there.
K&M: (iv)
Note: We have been focused on the application of ko/so/a words. The application of kore/koko/kochira/konna etc may also require practice.
References: Based on explanations and examples in "The Dictionary of Basic Jpse Grammar" and "An Introduction to Advanced Spoken Japanese".
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